[Week 1]: Overcoming Inertia and Finding Direction

Forgive the length of this post, but I learned a lot this week and I like to imagine this was one of the hardest stretches of my S-STEM journey; getting started. I rarely pat myself on the back but after this week I am thankful that I am a motivated and ambitious woman.

Due to my insatiable need to learn about the universe I exist within, a future in STEM has always been a desire of mine. However, my adult life has been filled with unexpected U- turns and delayed entries which prevented me from pursuing these desires at 100%. Last winter I finally reached point where I had to make a decision:

Stay full time in my current (and well paying) profession but delay my goal of graduating by 2020,

or-

Leave my financial and professional security to pursue my heart's desire and finish my education.

Since I am writing this entry my decision was obviously the later. After overcoming my fear of uncertainty and change, I left my job and moved back home in order to attend college full time for the first time in years. Miraculously, this January I was awarded the opportunity to conduct a research project in the S- STEM Scholars program for my final semester at community college. This program allows me to gain experience under the mentoring of graduate researchers and professors. I could not be more excited, and I spent the few days prior in a haze of anticipation.

About 20 minutes into the orientation the front portion of my brain finally chimed in and asked a painfully obvious question: 

How does research even happen? 

Thus far my STEM education has been traditional. I show up to class and conduct a pre-determined experiment to learn more about said subject. But logistically I have no idea how any of this works behind the curtain. Do I pick a topic myself and we adjust from there? Or do they decide for me? What are the constraints to my project? How does funding work? Are there logistical or contractual requirements for me to do this?

With all these questions in mind I got to meet two of the Bio-science research leads, Josh and Matt. They were both friendly and helpful, but I could quickly see that I would be their problem child. Later that week, I came in for the first day and began in-processing. This was a simple task and frankly, my mind began to wander as I knew they were waiting on me to decide what I want to research. The online training was about ethics however, I felt that I couldn't proceed without identifying what I would spend the semester researching. As an overachiever, I decided to make a spreadsheet referencing undergraduate projects across the country that caught my eye, then pin pointing what exactly about the opportunity I found fascinating. I'm a big believer in being prepared and coming to the table with solutions. The following table is my end product:

Research Idea Name	Research Description	Source	Points of Interest
"Polymer aerogel synthesis"	"Aerogels are light weight, low density solids with nanoscale porosity which result in a material with very low thermal conductivity, very high surface areas and dielectric constants approaching that of air. The project will focus on the polymerization of a clear/translucent polyimide aerogel using varying types of monomeric precursors. "	OSSI	Nano- technology What influences thermal conductivity? Properties of porosity on a microscopic scale
"Laboratory Studies of Chemical Processing in Astrophysical Ices"	"The student would work in the Astrochemistry and Astrophysics Laboratory and help to carry out experiments designed to study the photochemistry and catalytic chemistry that occur in astrophysical ice analogs of cometary, planetary, and interstellar ices. Emphasis will be placed on how these processes produce organic compounds, particularly compounds that are of astrobiological interest."	OSSI	Astrochemistry Photochemistry Catalytic Chemistry Increased lab experience with different equipment
"Space Environment Resistant Polymer Composite"	"The goal of the research is to develop a novel space environment-resistant load-bearing polymer composite by nanotechnology. The novel polymer composite provides excellent space radiation-resistant capability while keeping superb mechanical strength of fiber reinforced microstructure. The successful completion of the research will benefit numerous NASA missions by offering space environment-resistant load-bearing polymer composite. Spacecraft fabricated with these new materials enables long-term interplanetary and interstellar space mission success."	OSSI	Nano- technology, microstructures Radiation Extreme environments Thermal Conductivity, porosity
"Multifunctional Structural Boron Nitride Nanotube Composites for Aerospace Applications"	"Boron Nitride Nanotube (BNNT) is a structural analogue of carbon nanotube. Having extraordinary mechanical properties, BNNTs also offer unique high thermal stability (> 900°C in air), chemical stability, corrosion resistance, high dielectric strength, neutron radiation shielding, piezoelectricity (sensing/actuation), and a dyeable white color. Developed at NASA, our novel high temperature, high pressure (HTP) BNNT synthesis produces clean white, highly crystalline, small diameter, long BNNTs without using a catalyst. To explore BNNTs, new BNNT composites, fibers, and yarns will be developed using polymers, metals, and ceramics to study heir mechanical, thermal, electrical, sensing/actuation, and radiation shielding properties systematically for aerospace applications. A gifted student is sought to research and develop new multifunctional BNNT-fibers, and BNNT-nanocomposite materials that will be used for real-world aerospace applications."	OSSI	I love learning about precipitates, formation of crystals in solutions!  What creates Thermal Stability? What makes something corrosion resistant? Studying composites, fibers METALS
"Developing Electroplating Processes by Controlling Crystal Nucleation and Growth"	"This project explores the many applications of electroplating, from x-ray masks to magnetic nanowires or   transition edge sensors. The deposited materials are ranging from tens of nanometers to microns in size.  Crystal morphology determines the physical properties of the deposit. Pulse current deposition will allow to obtain a finer grained deposit with better properties than direct current plated coatings. Hardness of the deposit largely depends upon the grain size. By favoring grain nucleation over grain growth harder deposits can be obtained. Proper use of pulse plating can produce deposits with tailor-made properties. A few studies on influence of the pulse plating on stress in thin films of metals (Bi, Au, Cu) or magnetic materials are available in the literature. The relation between the process parameters, deposit nanostructure, thickness uniformity, effects of surfactants or additives and resulting residual stress has not yet been much discussed for the fabrication of thick (> 100 µm) layers by using pulse plating."	D.O.E.	ELECTROPLATING!! METALS!! Crystal Morphology Magnetic materials Nanotechnology Deposits and coatings
"Forming Mercury Sulfide Crystals Over a Range of Geochemical Conditions"	“The successful candidates will lab scale experiments focused on the formation of Zn and Hg sulfide crystals in static experiments over a range of geochemical conditions…. Remediation of diffuse mercury source zones poses a unique challenge at a wide range of the 3000 mercury-contaminated sites globally. The existence of diffuse sources is particularly challenging in remediating a low-order stream system (i.e., East Fork Poplar Creek [EFPC]) located in Oak Ridge, Tennessee. The EFPC ecosystem received large point-source discharges during the 1950 and 1960s. Although upstream mercury discharges to EFPC have declined, mercury release persists from point and diffuse sources within the industrial facility where mercury was used and from diffuse downstream sources, such as contaminated bank soils. Previous studies identified the presence of mercury sulfide (HgS) in EFPC bank soils, but the processes that govern HgS formation remain unclear. Research activities will include the use of microscopy techniques including scanning electron microscopy, transmission electron microscopy, and scanning probe microscopy measurements as well as general laboratory based sulfidation experiments. In addition to sulfidation experiments and microscopy measurements, the interns will also have the opportunity to participate in other projects being performed. These include supporting microscopy analyses on weathered borosilicate mineral and glasses. The laboratory scale experiments will involve conducting static and flow-through experiments using atomic force microscopy to develop a mechanistic understanding of solid-fluid reactions. Responsibilities include data collection and analysis, interpretation, and publication of experimental results.	D.O.E.	MERCURY SULFIDE CRYSTALS! Electron Microscopy Analyzing weathered borosilicate mineral and glasses Atomic Force Microscopy (ATM) Solid-Fluid reactions

I felt somewhat proud of myself, though I could visibly see the headache forming in the mentor's forehead. It was at this point that I decided I should probably finish the online training. This focused on Ethics in research. In short, the training covered conduct regarding publishing and protecting intellectual property, inappropriate relationships, plagiarism, fabrication, and misrepresentation of results. 

I then came across an important little aside regarding the dynamic between mentors and their interns: DON'T OVERWHELM YOUR MENTORS....  I wish I read that earlier and proceeded to feel guilty. Ultimately, the researcher mentors decided it would be best to ask Dr. Chapman if I could work with a professor that would allow me to conduct research that would grow my skills in a chemistry lab. At this point I was faced with my life long nemesis: Asking for things.

I HATE asking people for things. However, I have come to accept that if you don't put yourself out there and ask, then nothing that you want will get done. These two phrases often cross my mind:

"The worst thing that will happen is they'll say 'No."

Consequentially if you just sit in uncertainty, 

"The answer is currently 'No' because you haven't asked them yet". 

 I eventually sucked it up and requested if I could pursue a chemistry focused project and Dr. Chapman was more than encouraging. However, this meant I had to do more 'asking' in order to find a professor willing to mentor my research. I created the spreadsheet above, but I had learned that maybe it was not the approach I wanted to take (anecdotally, headaches tend to make people say no).

Dr. Abeer Hamdan, the geology professor, was heavily recommended to me. Because simply shooting her an email so we could organize a meeting was too easy, I somehow thought awkwardly  checking by her office throughout the week would somehow help my cause. After a couple days of this awkward behavior,  I finally managed to corner meet her at an URSA MAJOR meeting where I essentially begged to her to mentor me. She presented to me a research project that she had begun years ago but was willing to start again. Thankfully my lack of bargaining tactics did not dissuade her, and she agreed to give me a shot. I ran out thanking my lucky stars.

I'm not entirely sure this is the proper (or traditional) logistics to beginning undergraduate research projects however, I've never done things the normal way. I've learned it’s a lot of asking and knowing exactly what you want. Only squeaky wheels get oiled and if you can present yourself as free labor, your chances will be higher. In conclusion, I finally nailed a project I could work on. With Dr. Hamdan I will be analyzing heavy metal contamination travel in soil due to spent ammunition cartridges left in the desert. We will be focusing on areas around the Salt River for sample collection. I finally found a professor willing to let me bug them for an entire semester, now I just to put in the effort and show that I mean business. As Josh noted thank God, I'm an ENTJ. Dr. Hamdan has already sent me multiple papers to read in order to familiarize myself with the project and my next post will detail what I learn.

Until next week,

RJ